Lina's Aladdin
by Kitiara-d
Summary: The Disney tale told alla Slayers version


All Slayers characters belong to Hajime Kanzaka / Rui Araizumi / Kadokawa Shoten.   
However this story belongs to ME!  
  
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"_Oh I come from a land, from a far away place where the caravan camels grove; where it's flat and immense & the heat is intense, it's barbaric but hey it's home. When the winds from the east and the winds from the west & the sand in the glass is right; come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian night..._"   
  
Ah Salaam-i! And good evening to you, worthy friend! Welcome to Agrabah, city of mysteries and enchantments. I am your guide in this adventure, the **Narrator**.   
Before we start, I'd like everyone to know that all facts and people mentioned here-after are purely fictional and belong to their respective owners. I don't take claim for them. Copyrights are a pain to protest.   
But let us continue.   
See this lamp in my hand? Don't be fooled by its common-place appearance. Like so many things, it is not what it's outside but what is inside that counts. _**Lina: Jewels?**_ This is no ordinary lamp! It once changed the life of a young woman who like this lamp was more than she seemed.   
Perhaps you'd like to hear the tale? It begins on a dark night where a dark man waits with a dark purpose... **_Narrator: doesn't this give you the creeps?_**   
  
"You're late" the dark-cloaked figure stated obviously.   
"A thousand apologizes, oh patient one" the other groveled.   
"You have it then?"   
"I had to slit a few throats but I got it" he smirked keeping the object out of reach from the other's eager hands.   
The cloaked-one grabbed it with impatience.   
"You'll get what's coming to you" he promised darkly.   
He united the object with the other that appeared from under his cloak. The two fused into a golden scarab which flew out of his hands disappearing into the sand. The ground shook. A construction shaped as a tiger head loomed above them.   
"_WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?_" It demanded "_KNOW THIS: ONLY ONE MAY ENTER HERE, ONE WHOSE WORTH IS FAR WITHIN, THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH_"   
The cloaked one urged the other impatiently. The man took an uncertain step into the construction. The tiger's head shook and the jaws clamed shut on him while his screams faded into the night.   
The mysterious one shrugged indifferently from the loss. His eyes were lost in thought.   
"Only one may enter. I must find this... diamond in the rough"   
  
"Stop, thief! I'll have your hands for a trophy, street-rat!" the guard yelled.   
**Lina Inverse** humble small-time thief in every sense _**Lina: Hey!**_ who was also probably something more than she appeared... perhaps the diamond in the rough?   
  
_**Zel: That's debatable**_   
_**Gourry: Lina? A diamond? More like a piece of coal**_   
_**Lina: That's enough!**_   
stonk*>   
(***sweat-drop***)   
  
Anyway she was always getting into trouble with the guards and it had become a daily routine of snatch-grab-&-run _Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat_ before being caught up with justice, sooner or later _**Amelia: Justice always prevails!**_. But her agility and cunning always got her one jump ahead of disaster, one jump ahead of her doom.   
Today started like every other day for our heroine. Being poor had its disadvantages especially when one had such bottomless stomach. **a foot taping impatiently***>   
Imperturbable she sacked the whole vendor of his goods which quickly disappeared down her throat before the guards were after her.   
  
_**Lina: All this for a loaf of bread??**_  
_**Amelia: No! For the whole shop you ate!**_   
  
She easily dodged the useless guards who promptly lost track of her . She stopped to take a well-deserved break on top of a hay-stack where she could keep an eye on things as well.   
That's when she noticed a strange person wrapped up in a cream-colored cloak wandering around the market-place with wide eyed wonder. A small breeze unsettled the hood. The person snatched it back in place but not before Lina had taken a good look what was underneath. Her eyes twinkled.   
_**Lina: Gold!**_  
  
A child stared hungrily at an apple upon a stall and the person helpfully gave it to him before turning to leave. The merchant angrily snatched the cloaked-one threatening to chop the person's hand off because the person had failed to pay. The person wasn't familiar with the term "pay" **_Narrator: W_**_**ell, can't hold it against him/her. Lina didn't know the meaning of the word either**_ The child adequately disappeared.   
Being a kind-hearted person _**Gourry: Who? Lina?**_ Lina decided to intervene. She threw a fire-ball at the stall and while the poor man yelled for help trying to extinguish the flames and save his shop, she dragged the cloaked-one after her on top of the roofs.   
_**Narrator's Note: Safety first**_  
"So this is your first time in the market-place, huh?" Lina asked curiously, jumping easily from roof-top to roof-top.   
"Is it that obvious?" the strange girl wondered, eyeing the distance from one roof to the other.   
"Well you do kinda stand out. You don't seem to know how dangerous Agrabah can be"   
"I'm a fast learner" the person jumped to land gracefully on... her face.   
(*_**sweat-drop from Narrator & Lina**_*)   
  
Our little thief took the girl to her hide-out and showed off the marvelous view it offered. "Well, it's not much" she admitted "But it has a great view. The palace looks pretty amazing, huh?" _**Lina: wonder what treasure it might hide**_  
"Oh. It's wonderful" the girl answered without feeling, barely glancing at it. She swept her cream-colored cloak aside and sat down disheartly.   
"I wonder what it's like to live there? Have servants and valets..." _**Lina: and treasure!**_  
"Sure, people would tell you where to go, how to dress..."   
"That's better than here. You're always scraping for food, ducking the guards..."   
_**Gourry: blasting people & places...**_   
"You're not free to make your own choices..."   
"You're just...trapped" **_?_**_**?**_  
"You look down in the dumps. What's wrong?" Lina the ever-observant asked, not really caring for the answer. She was only interested in one thing.   
  
_**Zel: food!**_  
_**Gourry: money**_**!**  
(_**Lina: *sweat-drop**_*****)   
**_Narrator: Ok, make it two things she was only interested in_**  
  
"My father's forcing me to get married" the girl told her sadly.   
"That's awful"   
"Yes. Yes, it is. And I don't want to! There are many things to do in the world, evil to vanquish, bad people to punish, Justice to preserve!" she said with feeling standing on a sack of goods, her fist raised to the sky, her eyes twinkling.   
Lina observed her antics with worry. She was thinking that she'd saved a nut-case.   
**_Lina: definitely thinking that!_**  
"Here you are!" a voice yelled with anger as the door was kicked open.   
"They're after me! They're after you?" the girls exclaimed.   
"Father must've sent them..." the girl wailed.   
"We just keep running into each other, don't we street-rat!" the guard sneered, grabbing Lina "It's the dungeons for you!"   
"Let her go! Unhand her!" the other girl exclaimed with anger, stepping forward bravely   
"By order of the Princess!"   
"**Princess Amelia**! What are you doing outside the palace? And with this street-rat?" the poor man yipped with confusion.   
"That's not your concern! Do as I command, release her!" the Princess ordered.   
"I would, Princess. Except my orders come from Zelgadis. You'll have to take it up with him" the guard told her with regret before dragging Lina away to her fate.   
"Believe me, I will!" **_Narrator: threatening, isn't she?_**  
  
_**Narrator: Now you're probably wondering why Lina didn't use her magic to escape her faith. That's because I got her to promise not to use magic unless instructed or if strictly necessary. Here's hoping she'll keep her promise!**_  
  
Finally the royal vizier had had an illumination and thanks to his magical powers knew who his precious diamond in the rough was. He was just about to go seek this person out when...   
"**Zelgadis**!" an irritatingly familiar voice called out.   
"Princess! How may I be a service to you?" he groveled... _Zel: *cough*_> ...gomen, he asked humbly.   
"The guards just took a girl. On your orders!" Princess Amelia stated the obvious, stopping in front of him.   
"Your father taught you to keep peace and JUSTICE in Agrabah. The girl was a criminal" the vizier defended himself.   
"What was her crime?" she demanded   
"Why, kidnapping the Princess, of course"   
"She didn't kidnap me! I ran away" she snapped   
"Oh dear! How frightfully upsetting! Had I but known..." he cringed with false regret.   
"What do you mean?" she asked in  a little voice, getting an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach.   
  
**_Gourry: hungry?_**  
**_Lina: indigestion can do that to you sometimes_**  
**_Gourry: no, i'd say it's hunger. I know the feeling_**   
**_Lina: she just ate too much! Or ate something bad..._**   
  
"Sadly the girl's sentence is already being carried out" he informed her with hidden glee.   
"What sentence?"   
"Death... by be-heading. I'm exceedingly sorry, Princess" he enjoyed her shock and outrage.   
  
**_Narrator:_** **_my, aren't we taking this evil villain thing seriously!_**  
**_Zel: it's a talent_**  
**_Lina: inherited, I presume?_**  
**_Zel: runs in the family, I guess_**   
  
"How could you! Oh, it's all my fault! I didn't even know her name!" Amelia wailed running to her rooms in tears.   
  
"She was the Princess. I can't believe it!" Lina mussed in the dark dungeon where she'd probably live out the rest of her life. "I must've sounded so stupid to her!"   
  
**_Everyone: We_** _**agree**_  
_Lina: *grumble grumble*_>   
  
She'd tried picking the locks that held her but locks weren't her area of expertise. And she couldn't just blast them, not while she was attached to them.   
"You're only a fool if you give up" a voice creaked. A hunched shaped appeared from the shadows.   
"Who are you?" she demanded.   
"A lonely prisoner like yourself. But together, perhaps we can be something more"   
"I'm listening"   
"There is a cave, girl, a Cave of Wonders filled with treasure beyond your wildest wishes. Treasure enough to impress even your Princess."   
Lina's eyes positively twinkled. He'd hit her soft spot and said the magic word.   
But she wasn't completely gone.   
"So why would you share all this wonderful treasure with me?" she wondered testily.   
"I need a young one who has healthy legs and a strong back to pull me after it" he told her while walking on unstable legs. "There's only one problem: it's out there and we're in here"   
"That's not a problem!" Lina told him with confidence. "Just get me out of these things and we're outta here!"   
The man looked at her doubtfully but did what she told him picking the locks with expertise.   
"Ah finally!" Lina sighed with relief when they came off, rubbing her aching wrists.   
"And now..." She raised her hands, preparing the spell.   
"But... what are you doing??" the man protested.   
"Things aren't always what they seem" Lina told him with an evil smile while she faced the wall that prevented her from reaching her treasure. She released the spell. The fire-ball went slamming into the helpless wall destroying it.   
Lina turned to her fellow prisoner.   
"So, do we have a deal?"   
  
Walking through the burning desert was not Lina's idea of a trip in the country.   
Helping the man turned out more trying than expected. For some unknown reason, he seemed to weight five times more than normal for a man his age and in his condition.   
Anyway, they managed to survive the sandstorm the desert threw at them. When they reached the appointed area, the man took out from under his worn cloak two strange golden objects which Lina eyed greedily that fused and flew out of his hands disappearing into the sand. The ground shook. A construction shaped as a tiger head loomed above them.   
"_WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?_" It demanded   
Lina stepped forward eagerly.   
"It is I, Lina Inverse!"   
"_PROCEED. TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP_"   
"Remember girl, first fetch me the lamp. Then you shall have your reward" the old man reminded her. Lina waved him off while entering the building.   
Inside just after the long flight of stairs down, was a room full of gold, coins & jewels.   
  
**_Lina: Would you look at that! Just a handful would make me richer than the sultan! But... gotta find the lamp_**  
  
Lina's mouth watered but she sternly reminded herself of her goal. She kept walking, keeping track of everything because she definitely was gonna take everything out with her as soon as she was through with her quest.   
The second room was more like a natural cave with strange calcareous cylindrical and conical deposits projecting upward from the floor and downward from the roof. The air would've been much cooler if it weren't for the lava river which flowed there. On the other side of this there stood a huge stalagmite, lit-up by a beam of light. Under the light was a golden object.   
"This is it? This is why I came all this way down here to get?" she wondered with disappointment, eyeing the object in her hands, after she had easily crossed the river   
**_Narrator's note: Levitation again_**  
A blood-red gleam caught her attention. A huge ruby the size of her fist winked enticingly at her from its nest on nearby stalagmite . She eyed it greedily.   
"_INFIDELS! YOU HAVE TOUCHED THE FORBIDDEN TREASURE! NOW YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN SEE THE LIGHT!_"   
Lina yipped guiltily eyeing the ruby in her hands.   
"Ops"   
The ground under her feet shook while the roof above her threatened to collapse. The lava river started over-flowing. Lina realized she was in deep deadly trouble **_Narrator: obviously_** and decided to make a break for it.   
She barely escaped with her life while she helplessly watched the treasure slowly sink and melt under the lava's force. A rock grazed her, making her lose her concentration. She stumbled and grabbed the step, freedom and safety so close.   
"Help me out!" she yelled to the man, hanging on for dear life.   
"Throw me the lamp"   
"I can't hold on"   
"First give me the lamp!" the man demanded, snatching it from her offering hands   
"Yes, at last!" He turned on her, a dagger in his hand.   
"What are you doing??" she gasped.   
"Giving you your reward. Your eternal reward" he answered darkly, bringing it down.   
The ground shook and Lina lost her grip. She fell into the darkness.   
The man shrugged. His eyes twinkled with dark joy.   
"It's mine! It's all mine!"    
He frantically searched his person but in vane. The lamp was gone   
"I... what is it? NOOoo!" he screamed angrily into the night, shaking his fist at the cold moon.   
  
In the palace, there was a knock on her door. She barely lifted her head from her pillow.   
"Amelia, what's wrong?" her daddy asked with worry.   
"Zelgadis... has done something terrible" she sniffed.   
"There there. We'll set it all right. Justice will prevail!" he told her helpfully. "Now tell me everything"   
  
"Oh, my head!" Lina groaned, bringing a hand to her aching head.   
She gasped.   
"I'm trapped! That... two-faced son of a jackal! Whoever he was, he's long gone... without this lamp!" she said the last pulling the lamp out with a flourish from under her cloak **_Narrator: cloaks are really handy for hiding things, don't you agree?_**  
"Looks like such a beat-up worthless piece of junk." she mussed, rubbing it "Hey, there's something written here. But it's hard to make out"   
A great pink cloud escaped from the lamp, hanging over the place.   
Lina coughed, trying to get some clean air into her lungs.   
When she could finally see, she gasped. Rubbed her eyes but the image wouldn't leave.   
A blond-haired man hovered above her, dressed in a blue outfit wearing a relieved expression on his face.  
"Ten thousand years can give you such a crick in the neck! Does it feel great to be outta there!" he sighed with relief, arching his obviously aching back.   
"I must've hit my head harder than I thought" Lina thought to herself, shaking her head.   
"So, what shall it be, master?" the guy asked of her.   
"Wait a minute! I'm... your master?"   
"What do you wish of me?"   
"Wish fulfillment?" Lina was dumbfounded while visions of glory, riches and more danced in her head.   
"Three wishes to be exact." **Gourry** the genie corrected "And no wishing for more wishes. It's against the rules. What is your pleasure? What will it be, master?"   
"You're gonna grant me any three wishes I want, right?"   
Lina wanted everything to be cleared before enumerating her loooong list of wishes.   
"Almost. There are some privados, a couple of pre-pro-quos or however you call them..."   
She eyed him doubtfully   
"...Rule number one: I can't kill anybody; rule number two: I can't make anybody fall in love; rule number three: I can't bring people back from the dead. Other than that, you've got it!" he stated happily.   
"Limitations? On wishes? So much for oh powerful genie!" she said, with righteous indignation. But then thinking it over and looking at the guy's not really smart face, she knew she could get all she wanted.   
Lina smiled.   
  
"Zelgadis, this is an outrage!" the Sultan Phil declared " If it weren't for all your years of loyal service... but from now on you're to discuss your prisoners' sentences with me, before they're beheaded"   
"I assure you, your Highness, it won't happen again" the vizier gro... abashed himself with false sincerity.  
This seemed to please the Sultan who then turned to his daughter with a smile and took her hand.   
"Amelia, Zelgadis. Now let's put this whole messy business behind us. Please?"   
The Princess and the Vizier eyed each other with contempt.   
"At least some good will come to my being forced to marry. I will have the power to get rid of you" Amelia whispered to him before storming out the room   
  
"If only I'd gotten that lamp!" Zelgadis thought angrily "To think I've gotta keep kissing up to that chump and his chump daughter. No, only until she finds a chump husband then I'll be banished or... beheaded. Unless..." His eyes were lost in thought   
  
"Sire! I have found the solution to your problem with your daughter!" the vizier declared, rushing into the royal throne-room with eagerness. The sultan perked up.   
"_If the Princess has not chosen a husband by the appointed time, then the sultan shall choose for her_" Zelgadis read from a very long and ancient papyrus.   
**_Lina: Where'd you find that?_**  
"But Amelia hated all those suitors. How can I choose someone she hates?" Phil wondered worriedly. He really did love his daughter.   
"Not to worry, my Lord. There is more." The vizier continued to read on "_If in the event a suitable prince cannot be found, the Princess must then be wed to the royal vizier_. That would be... me??" He nearly yelled in an incredulous voice.   
  
**_Zel: What is the meaning of this??_**  
**_Narrator:_** **_It's all part of the story! I didn't make it up! Honest!_**   
**_Lina: Follow the scrip, Zel-kun!_**  
**_Gourry: This is getting interesting_**   
_Zel: *grumble grumble*_>   
  
"But I thought the rule said only a Prince can marry the Princess?" the sultan asked with confusion.   
"Desperate times call for desperate measures. **_Z: I must really be desperate to marry her!_** You will order the Princess to marry me" he said in a persuasive voice.   
"But, you're so... odd" Phil honestly exclaimed eyeing the stone-fleshed chimera that was his most trusted advisor.   
"The Princess will marry me!" Zelgadis ordered angrily, bespelling the poor clod into obeying him **_Narrator: he wasn't too happy about his appearance either, poor thing_**  
  
He was interrupted by the sound of a parade charging into the street. The sultan eagerly jumped to see from the balcony while elephants, lions, peacocks, gold and silver, majestic treasures and the such that one had never laid eyes on marched under him.   
"Make way for Princess... What did you say your name was again?" _Lina: *whisper*_> Ano, but you're Lina Inverse, remember? Shesh, forgetting your name like that! **stonk***>_Lina: *furious whisper*_>**_Narrator's note: Light cam forth_**...ah, for Princess Lila!" a clear voice called, clearing the passage for the troupe.   
"_Heard from the winds in the old bazaar; hey you let us through it's a brand-new star! Oh come be the first one to meet her eyes. Make way, here she comes, ring the bells bang the drums! Ah, you're gonna love this gal! Show some respect down on one knee. Now try your best to stay calm, brush out your Sunday salaams, then come to meet the spectacular one!_"   
The Parade stopped right in front of the palace gates. The guards didn't know what to do with this mess. But the sultan in person greeted the new comer with glee, ushering her into the palace.   
"Splendid! Absolutely marvelous!" he declared joyfully "Oh, this is Zelgadis, my royal vizier! He's delighted too!"  
"Ecstatic" Zelgadis said with poison dropping from his voice.   
Lina looked at him.   
He glared at her.   
"I'm afraid, whoever you are, you cannot just parade in here uninvited and unexpected!" he snapped angrily.   
"Nonsense, Zelgadis! Everyone is welcome here! Especially such splendid princess!"   
Lina beamed.   
"Where did you say you were from?" Zelgadis persisted.   
"Er... more farther than you've traveled, I'm sure" Lina tried climbing on a mirror.   
"Try me"   
She slipped on its slippery surface.   
Fortunately the sultan came to her rescue interrupting the troubling conversation and invited her over for dinner.   
**_Narrator: What a major mistake!_**  
  
"I think it's time to say goodbye to Princess Lila" Zelgadis told the sultan that evening.   
"Whatever for?" Phil asked incredulous   
"She might have a bad influence on Princess Amelia, giving her ideas..."   
"Nonsense! Amelia has a good head over her shoulders!"   
"...And, we don't know where she's from. I must insist. It's for the Princess' own good"   
"How dare you??" Amelia stormed into the room, glaring at the vizier, preventing him from using his spell on Phil. "I'm old enough to make my own choices. And I don't want to marry, not yet! There are many things to do in the world, evil to vanquish, bad people to punish, Justice to preserve!"   
"Yes. You should be free to make your own choices" a voice agreed with the final part of her speech.   
The three turned. Princess Lila entered the room, in her royal princely dress in which she was decidedly uncomfortable, but then she was confortable only in her every-day clothes  
Amelia cheered. Princess Lila did act a bit like the girl from the market-place but she was so different and sophisticated **splutter***> She was her hero!   
Lina tried to ignore the girl's wide-eyed adoring look which was truly disturbing when pointed your way. She addressed the sultan instead.   
"Mind telling me why so eager to marry her off? Though I can't say I wouldn't agree with you on a few reasons... And why the stupid ancient law?" she asked, honestly curious.   
Phil sputtered, a puzzled look on his jovial face.   
"Because the sultan fears for the country's fate, should he someday -may Allah have mercy- perish, who would rule in his place, but the princess' husband?" Zelgadis butt in promptly.   
His glare warned Lina against pushing the matter farther.   
Lina was never good at taking hints.   
Sparks flew between them.   
Fortunately for everyone, Amelia interrupted the conversation, dragging Lina out of the room and into her personal gardens.   
Zelgadis watched their retreating backs with an angry stare.   
  
"For the first time in my life, things are starting to go right" Lina murmured sleepily.   
Amelia had kept her up the whole night, talking nonsense until she finally collapsed. But at least now Lina wasn't missing anything, she had everything she could possibly want.   
A shadow fell over her, taking her completely by surprise. She had no chance.   
Darkness dragged her under **_Narrator's Note: translation= sleep spell_**   
"I'm afraid you've worn out your welcome" a dark voice told her smoothly "Make sure she's never found"   
  
Amelia hummed happily. She'd spent a lovely evening with Princess Lila who had many interesting stories to tell about the world Amelia had never seen. She couldn't wait to talk with her friend again. She brushed her fine black hair and smoothened her clothes.   
There was a knock on the door. She turned around and joyfully greeted her father. "I have chosen a husband for you" he told her with a blank expression "You will wed Zelgadis"   
*_**cheers from Amelia/Zel supporters**_*  
Amelia stared at her father, her mouth opened but no sound came out.   
"You're speechless, I see" the vizier smirked, advancing toward her "A fine quality in a wife"   
  
**_Zel: is it really ncessary for me to marry her?? There's gotta be another solution to the problem!_**  
**_Lina: don't ruin the fun, Zel-kun!_**   
_Zel: *dark look*_>   
  
"I will never marry you!" the Princess had finally found her voice "Lila will prevail! Justice will prevail!"   
"I'm afraid Princess... Lila has left" Zelgadis told her with cold delight.   
"Better check your crystal ball again!" a voice interrupted his tirade. Lina staked into the room with angry steps, her dress in ruins. "Tell them the truth, Zelgadis, you tried to have me killed!"   
"What... ridiculous nonsense, Your Highness, she's obviously lying" the vizier leaned into the sultan, willing him with his magic.   
But Lina noticed and raised a barrier over the man, blocking the vizier's spell with a snap.   
"Your Highness, Zelgadis has been controlling you" Lina declared to the room at large.   
"You traitor!" Phil gasped angrily, finally shaking free from his spell.   
"All this can be explained." Zelgadis tried to free himself in vane. The guards charged at him. He turned to Lina   
"This is not done yet, girl!" he promised before he disappeared in a puff of smoke.   
"Cheap circus magic" Lina mumbled.   
"Search everywhere for him!" the sultan ordered "Zelgadis, my most trusted counselor... against me all this time... this is horrible, just horrible... how will I ever..."   
  
Zelgadis had fled through a secret tunnel only he knew the existence of. He stood in his laboratory, staking the room with angry steps. Back and forth. Back and forth.   
He stopped suddenly as an intuition hit him.   
  
  
**_Zel: Lina, that hurt!_**   
  
"The Princess is nothing more than a street urchin. She has the lamp!"   
  
Lina was truly having enough of this masquerade. Yes, she had everything she ever wanted but she wasn't exactly free. The nobles had lots of responsibilities. Plus the world called out to her. But she didn't know how to tell Princess Amelia the truth without hurting the girl's feelings.   
"Just tell her the truth!" Gourry suggested helpfully, appearing out of nowhere.   
Unfortunately for him, he'd chosen the wrong moment to appear, while Lina was taking a bath!   
After thinking it over, she reached a decision.   
She left her rooms, the genie securely in his lamp she's forced him in it and locked all escapes  
Someone noticed and decided to take advantage of the situation.   
  
"You can't just call me whenever you want, you know!" Gourry grumbled testily when his lamp was rubbed. His body was still sore where Lina had hit him.   
"I'm your master now!" a strange voice stated.   
That got his immediate attention.    
"Say, you're not Lina! Wait!" he leafed through the script "Tonight Lina's part should be played... by a tall dark & sinister ugly man?"   
"Genie, grant me my wish! I must rule on high, as sultan!" Zelgadis ordered angrily.   
**_Narrator: Really, we should avoid talking about his appearance!_**  
Gourry humbly complied.   
  
Lina was just getting to the arduous action of admitting the truth something she always had trouble doing when thunder sounded and dark clouds hid the sun. A long threatening shadow fell over them all.   
"You file betrayer!" Phil yelled as they saw who was the cause of the strange weather.   
Zelgadis chuckled evilly, eyeing them all from above his pirce on the tower   
someone's flaw rubbing off?  
"Oh yeah? We'll just see about that" Lina growled, reaching under her dress where the lamp usually was "Oh, the lamp!"   
"Finders keepers!" Zelgadis smirked pulling out said artifact from his cloak. She gasped.   
"Zelgadis, I order you to stop" Amelia yelled bravely facing the enemy.   
"Ah but there's a new order now. My order! Finally you will bow to me!"   
"We will never bow to you!" father and daughter said with pride.   
"If you won't bow before a sultan, then you will cower before a sorcerer!" Zelgadis screamed angrily "Genie, my second wish: I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer in the world!"   
Everyone gasped. Gourry sighed but did as he was ordered. A dark cloud of black smoke surrounded the chimera, lifting him up into the air.   
A flash of light came out of the cloud, dissolving it. Zelgadis landed gracefully on the ground. Power erupted from him.   
Ladies & gentlemen, a warm heart-felt welcome for sorcerer Zelgadis!   
"Now where were we? Ah yes! Object: humiliation!" he laughed with evil glee.   
  
Phil uselessly charged at him with JusticePunch but was met with a Ray Wind which blasted him against the wall. Amelia rushed to Recovery him.   
Lina advanced toward the evil sorcerer, mumbling the words of a spell.   
Amelia's eyes light up with hope. Surely Princess Lila would win!   
Zelgadis smirked. He raised his hand. A sickly red light enveloped Lina freezing her on the spot. Her body didn't obey her anymore, it was under the sorcerer's control.   
Zel laughed, making her dance the makarena while Lina shrieked.   
"Princess Lila!" Amelia yelled.   
The sorcerer turned to her, an evil glint in his eyes.   
"Ah yes! You still don't know, do you? Your Princess Lila is nothing more than small-time Lina the thief!" he declared while his magic tore her illusion so that Lina Inverse appeared before everyone's eyes.   
Amelia gasped.   
"I'll get you for this, Zelgadis!" Lina threatened from her cocoon of red light.   
The sorcerer laughed and continued to make her dance around.   
  
**_Gourry: This is fun! Make her dance the Makarena!_**  
**_Lina: Hey! Don't give him strange ideas!_**   
  
"Her personality flows give me adequate claws to send her packing on a one-way trip!" Zelgadis sang triumphantly while he sent Lina spinning off into space. She disappeared like a shooting star into the sky.   
  
Ah, finally! Revenge was so sweet! The sorcerer thought, truly enjoying himself. He sat on his throne of dark marble in his dark palace while everyone was groveling under him.   
He chuckled darkly while ex-sultan Phil danced around in a to-to.   
"Stop it! Zelgadis, leave him alone!" Amelia pleaded.   
He smiled, his burning eyes on her slender form which her costume hardly hide.   
"It pains me to see you reduced to this, Amelia. Why, a sweet desert bloom such as yourself should be in the arms of the most powerful man on earth... what do you say?" he asked, pulling her closer while his hungry eyes caressed her.   
  
  
_**Zel: this is carrying it too far! I've had enough!**_  
**_Lina: oh, quit being such a pain, Zel-kun... or I'll show you real pain!_**   
  
**_Gourry: this is decidedly interesting!_**  
  
Amelia gasped and tore free from his grasp. She threw the contents of a glass on his face.   
The evil one glowered angrily, a small storm rising about him.   
"I'll teach you some respect!"   
He turned to the genie whom everyone had forgotten, including the Narrator.   
  
**_Gourry: I didn't get much of a part in this script!_**  
**_Lina: of course you did! You're the cause of all this mess!_**   
  
"Final wish: Princess Amelia to fall desperately in love with me" he ordered, a dark smile playing on his lips. Amelia gasped with fear.   
"Er master... there are some privados, a couple of pre-pro-quos... or however you call them.." Gourry began, uncertainly.   
"Don't talk back to me! You will do what I order you to do!" Zelgadis snapped.   
"Oh Zelgadis-sama...."   
He whirled around when he heard a familiar voice with an unfamiliar sweetly & seductive tone.   
Gourry's jaw fell open. Zelgadis smiled triumphantly. Princess Amelia slowly advanced toward him, hips swaying seducingly. She leaned into him, her arms around his neck, her soft body pressed against his hard one.   
  
**_Lina: this is decidedly going somewhere strange..._**  
**_Zel: you're telling me?!_**  
**_Gourry: Don't know what's happening but I'm enjoying the show_**   
  
"You're tall and dark, well-groomed, smart, cool..." she purred "You've stolen my heart"   
Zelgadis chuckled happily.   
"Tell me more about myself, pussy-cat"   
  
Gourry noticed a movement somewhere in the room. He eyed the two but they were too caught up with each other. He shrugged and went to investigate.   
"Lina! You're back! How'd you get here?" he bubbled happily.   
"Never mind that!" she snapped, hidding behind a curtain.   
"I work for zino-psychopath now. But not by my choice! What are you going to do?" He hung his head.   
"Hey, I'm a street-rat, remember? I'll improvise" she said, survailing the room.   
Gourry eyed her doubtfully but with hope. After all, it's Lina we're talking about.   
"Say, how'd you do that?" she wondered as she watched Amelia hanging all over the sorcerer.   
"I have no idea!" the genie declared.   
"Nani?!"   
  
**_Lina: they give a dolt such powerful magic and he doesn't even know how to use it! And they say I make a mess of things!_**  
  
"You're cruel and dark, merciless and handsome..." Amelia continued.   
Zelgadis was truly enjoying himself. Now he could order the Princess to do anything and she would happily comply.   
A noise caught his attention   
"That was..." But before he could turn around to look, Amelia forced his attention back to her: she kissed him long and hard, leaving him breathless.   
He smiled. It would be prove interesting... his evil thoughts were interrupted when he noticed the reflection on his glass.   
He whirled around angrily.   
"You? How many times do I have to kill you??" he snapped, eyeing a grouched Lina.   
Caught in the act of sneaking up on him, she calmly stood up and faced him, determined.   
A dark storm rose around the sorcerer. She prepared the words of a spell. She stroked. A fire-ball raced toward Zelgadis.   
"Get the lamp!" she yelled to Amelia who snapped out of her reverie and dashed for it.   
Zelgadis easily dodged Lina's spell and turned to the Princess. Amelia froze like a scared rabbit.   
**_Gourry: rabbit? Where? I like it roasted!_**  
"Ah no, Princess your time is up!" he declared while his magic enveloped her in a red cloud.   
"Amelia!" Lina yelled helplessly as the sorcerer worked his spell on the Princess.   
"Croak?" the frog asked.   
Lina groaned.   
"Zelgadis! How could you?? Turning Amelia into a frog!"   
He shrugged.   
**_Zel: I had to get it out of my system_**  
Lina dashed at him, throwing arrows of light at him.   
"Don't toy with me! Things are unraveling fast!" He snapped while dark flames slowly rose around her. "Get the point? I'm just getting warmed up!"   
He watched while the fire slowly pressed around her. Lina was starting to feel slightly hot and uncomfortable.  
great fire! Now if I could only find that rabbit...  
"Are you afraid to fight me yourself, you cowardly snake?" she asked desperately looking for a way out.   
"A snake, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how ssssnake-like I can be!"   
The sorcerer's body turned into a serpent's whose coils tightened around Lina. Things were decidedly getting out of hand.   
"Youuu little foool. Youuu thought youuu could defffeat the most powerfuuul being on earthhh?? Without the genie, girlll, youuu're nothing!" he laughed triumphantly.   
  
**_Lina: alright! That does it! I've had enough! Enough with this play! Now we're gonna do it MY way!_**  
**_Narrator: ano, Lina... you promised!_**  
**_Lina: I promised not to use magic unless instructed or if strictly necessary. I think it IS necessary NOW!_**  
**_Narrator: but that's not playing by the rules!_**  
**_Lina: forget the rules! I make the rules now!_**  
  
"What is it? Ssspeak up, girl, I can't hear youuu begging for merrrcy" The sorcerer demanded.   
Lina looked up. An evil smile was on her lips. That threw him off guard.   
"Why are youuu smiling?? Youuu're sssupposed to bow before my infiniteee power!" the snake towered over her, its tongue lashing angrily.   
"Bow? Me?? Lina Inverse will never beg or bow before anyone!"   
"How dareee youuu!?" the sorcerer screamed, tightening his coils around her.   
Lina's smile widened as her anger grew.   
  
**_Lina: you've been taking advantage of the situation, Zel-kun..._**  
**_Zel: nani?_**   
**Lina: ... about the fact that I couldn't to use magic while following the script...**>   
_Zel: *cringe*_>   
**_Lina: well, I've got news for you... the script's just been changed..._**  
_Zel: *worried look*_>   
_Lina: ... by me!_>   
**_Gourry: take cover!!!_**  
  
Lina began to chant.   
"Darkness from twilight, Crimson from blood that flows..."   
**_Amelia: narrator, aren't you supposed to prevent this from happening??_**  
**_Narrator: sorry, but I can't do anything about it! She's totally out of control!_**   
"...Buried in the flow of time... In thy great name, I pledge... ah, to hell with it--   
  
**DRAGON SLAAAVE!!!!**"   
  
A huge mushrooming orange cloud formed out of nowhere.   
When the spell's effects drifted away in the breeze, one could see the devastation caused: where the once splendid palace had been was now unrecognizable ruins.   
A groan was heard.   
  
**_Gourry: Ano, Lina, can't you warn me when you use that thing??_**  
**_Amelia: why'd you have to involve innocent people??_**   
  
_*Collective_ _**gasp**_*>   
"ARGH! Our beautiful palace that dated back to our great-great-great-great-ancestors!" Phil wailed. The ex-sultan and his daughter had been spared certain death by a useless genie.   
  
**_Gourry: hey! I resent that_**!  
**_Lina: she's right so shut up!_**   
  
"OUR KINGDOM!!!" Amelia and Phil cried out in shock. The ex-sultan passed out. In fact, Lina's spell had worked wonders because besides making her feel better, it had also leveled the palace. Agrabah had also disappeared from the face of the earth. Lina laughed nervously.   
"Well, at least I got rid of that pesky evil sorcerer!"   
Debris moved, tumbling down the already ruined-for-good palace. A cloaked form appeared in a cloud of dust.   
"ZELGADIS!" everyone gasped watching as the chimera calmly brushed himself off. Accusing eyes turned to Lina who looked at Zelgadis.   
  
**_Zel: fortunately I know you by now so I took measures_**  
**_Gourry: you took her measures??_**   
**sigh***>  
**_Lina: precaution measures, you ninny!_**  
  
"It's all your fault this happened!" Lina stated pointing her finger at him.   
"Excuse me for disagreeing but you did start all this"   
"Nani?"   
"Interfering into what was obviously none of your business"   
Gourry nodded. "Lina does that sometimes"   
"But you're evil..." Amelia started.   
Zelgadis sighed   
"Don't start with this!"   
"Then why go through all that mess for the stupid lamp!" Lina demanded.   
"Hey! That lamp happens to be my home!" Gourry protested. Nobody paid him attention.   
"Because it was the only way for me to regain my human form" the sorcerer calmly explained.   
"Then what was all that evil sorcerer gig??"   
Zelgadis had the grace to blush with embarrassment.   
"I got a bit carried away after you entered the scene" he admitted.   
"Well, your getting carried away destroyed the whole country!" Lina accused him.   
He arched an eyebrow.   
"Me? Cause this... mess?"   
"He's right! Someone else did this!" Amelia for once agreed with him.   
Very accusing and angry eyes turned toward an uncomfortable mage. She laughed nervously.   
"It was a... mistake! An honest mistake! I got carried away with the script..."   
"If I'm not mistaken, you told me the script was changed... by you!" Zelgadis reminded her.   
Everyone advanced threatening toward her.   
"I'm sure everything can be glued back together!" she tried piecing a couple of bricks together but failed miserably.   
Lina gulped. She started to withdraw.   
"Hey, everything will turn out fine! You're all very enterprising people! You'll be able to build Agrabah back in no time!"   
Everyone took a step toward her. Lina made a break for it. Everyone was after her, ex-sultan, guards and citizens right behind her.   
  
"Well, I suppose this ends the problem" Zelgadis said to noone in particular.   
"Now to us"   
Gourry looked at him with wide eyes.   
"Nani?"   
"My last wish?" the chimera reminded him   
"Oh! But you've already wished for your three wishes!" the genie stated "First was to be sultan, the second to be a great sorcerer..."   
Blank look while brain tried to remember and count above the number two.   
"Say! You're right! You've still got one wish left! What do you wish of me?" Gourry asked happily.   
"As if it were necessary to say it!"   
"Wait!" Amelia interrupted.   
"What is it?" the sorcerer turned annoyed eyes to the Princess. When'd she turn back to human? He'd much preferred her a frog.   
"The poor genie! He's a prisoner of his powers!"   
"So?"   
"He's been a slave for centuries!"   
"And have an eternity of servitude before me!" the genie said.   
The two gave him a wide-eyed pleading look. Such an attack full force is said to have defeated the most dangerous Mazoku.   
Zelgadis' defenses grumbled. His shoulders slumped in defeat.   
"Alright. Gourry, I wish for your freedom" he sighed.   
"Say again?"   
"Gourry, you're free!"   
Sparks flew, pink smoke choked everyone but when it was all cleared a beaming Gourry stood before them.   
"I'm free... free!" he whispered unbelieving. "Quick! Wish for something outrageous! Wish for the Nile!" he asked them.   
"I wish.. for the Nile" Amelia said uncertainly.   
"No way!" Gourry declared with satisfaction. He'd only wanted to say that for a few decades. "At last! I'm hitting the world! I'm off to see the world!"   
He turned.   
"Gee, thanks Zelgadis!"   
"Never mind. Small thing" the sorcerer waved him off.   
"Well, can't do any more damage in this Popsicle stand! I'm outta here! I'm history, no I'm mythology! I don't care what I am! I'm free!"   
With that the genie flew off into the evening sky, his happy voice fading in the distance.   
Zelgadis scratched his head.   
"Well, that's done as well. What's wrong now, Amelia?" he asked when he noticed her smiling face with an almost adoring look on it. It was enough to give him the shivers.   
She shook her head.   
"You're not so bad after all. You've sacrificed your humanity for Gourry's freedom"   
Light dawned.   
"ARGH! My human body! My wish! Gourry, get back here!" he chased after the disappeared genie.   
"Zelgadis, wait!" Amelia called after him.   
She looked at her ruined kingdom. A determined look crossed her face.   
In the distance, Lina and her followers kept running into the sunset while Zelgadis started his search for a genie who had already gotten lost in the desert.   
  
...The End   


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

A final note from the **_Narrator_**: I tried getting **Naga** and **Martina** to play the part of Abu and Jago but for some unknown reason they resolutely refused. Of course, after they heard about the _Cave of Wonders_ they unexplainably disappeared. At present, they are still to be considered missing.   
  
If you're wondering why **Xelloss** wasn't in the story, I assure you he was in it! Who do you think started all this mess? 


End file.
